Friday, November 17, 2006

Meet Gregg.

Ah, my older brother. What is there to say about him?

Well, he somehow manages to be the most endearing yet most irritating person alive, all at the same time. The guy sleeps through everything, loves nothing more than an uncomfortable joke, and really enjoys talking to the least advisable people about the most inappropriate things possible. He's unsanitary and doesn't get haircuts often enough.

But he still somehow manages to have everyone on his side and is like a cult hit with people. Seriously, his friends treat him like I treat watching The Warriors. People have a sick obsession with Gregg and his sense of humor that I don't advocate, understand, or participate in. I watch people talk to and about Gregg, and I often find myself wondering, "Don't these people realize how being friends with Gregg means you will never get anywhere at the time you planned, and when you get there, you'll be far more uncomfortable than you wanted to be?"

The best thing about Gregg is that I have been mining him for comedic material for over two decades. My greatest success as a comedian has come from stealing material Gregg has introduced into my life. Either by mining the awkwardness he creates in comedy scenes, or by outright stealing ideas he has had and watering them down so they are palatable to people who are not the six dudes we grew up with and still talk to, or nine drunks from Philadelphia he knows.

So there are some bad things and some good things about Gregg. I am kind of ambiguous about a lot of things about him, sometimes I think his whole persona is great and hilarious, and sometimes I want to smash his face with a stick until his brains are all over the floor.

1 comment:

Frank said...

Hey guys,

I'm glad to hear that you both are doing so well. Give your parents my best.
Gregg, I missed you by just a minute or so when you stopped by my parents' house this past Friday night. Congratulations on your recent marriage!
Chris, congratulations on all your recent success! I look forward to seeing you on a television series soon. Also, I share your sentiments on Rutgers.
I was of course amused by your recent posts regarding the "Johnny Irish" stuff of the old neighborhood (which I admittedly shared in as well). I was in Ireland this summer; and while it's undoubtedly a beautiful country, I now know firsthand why our grandparents left. I'm pretty sure that the "Johnny Irish" spirit was strongest among those in our neighborhood who'd never been to Ireland before. If they had, they would have learned that actual Irish citizens would not even consider them Irish. Also, most Irish citizens (even according to my great-aunt) aren't exactly welcoming to Americans. I think they sometimes see us as rich, spoiled brats (and perhaps understandably). Finally, I don't think any Irish citizen would be at all impressed by the Notre Dame leprechaun; and Guinness is NOT the most popular beer in Ireland by a longshot.
With that said, our Irish heritage has given us some great things in our lives: passion for music, literature, and the love for a good laugh. I think we can be most proud of the fact that our grandparents came from relatively little but worked to live decent lives in America.
Anyway, sorry for blabbering so much. I'm so happy to hear all is well for you guys, and I wish you both continued success.

Frank Kearns